In 2011, the SEC again proves it dominates the college football world. At one point in the 2011 season the SEC West controlled the top three slots in the BCS rankings – LSU 1, Alabama 2, Arkansas 3. The only reason Arkansas dropped was they had to play LSU.

At the heart of the domination in the past two years is the state of Alabama. Two national championships and two Heisman** awards is pretty tough to beat.

There are some ill-informed or maybe “hopeful” fans who disagree but when you look at conferences as a whole the SEC rules the roost. Yes there may be a few clunkers like Ole Miss and Tennessee but they would probably any team in another conference a decent showing.

Bottom line: SEC dominates, all others are SEC wanna be’s.

2011 Jager Gazette Conference Rankings
1. SEC
2. Maybe Big 10??
3. who cares…
4. can’t count that high

Current 2011 Jager Gazette Overall Rankings
1. LSU
2. Alabama
3. who cares…
4. can’t count that high

**Though Cam Newton won the Heisman award in 2010 the Jager Gazette generally does not recognize players who drink their own Cammy Cam Juice.

Don’t forget that the holidays are just around the corner. Order your loved one a gift from the “Jelly of the Month Club”.

Moammar Gadhafi has been in hiding the past few weeks. Undercover sources say he has been practicing his bass chops and will return to the US to replace Gene Simmons on the next KISS tour.

Gadhafi to replace KISS bass player Gene Simmons.

Did Robin get drunk and really take out the caped crusader? Could this be the end of the dynamic duo? Where did Batman learn his new jujitsu? Where’s Alfred when you need him!

Hey Batman just remember “what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas”

The other night at the kitchen table Obama called a meeting between Michelle, Sasha, and Malia. The girls had done so well in school Obama felt it was time to increase their allowance. Much to the girl’s delight they learned their allowance would go from $50 a week to $1,000 a week! After the short speech the Obama’s enjoyed a dinner from the organic garden.

And Now… The Rest of the Story

Later that evening Michelle scheduled a meeting with Barack on the back porch. Normally he doesn’t like to be disturbed during his social networking and smoking time but he agreed to meet with her. She felt $1,000 was a bit much for the girl’s allowance, especially when she only gets 27 assistants and a trip to Spain. Feeling something was not right Obama went back to the speech writers who wrote the “Allowance Speech” and discovered something interesting. Sasha and Malia knew the password, “Kenya”, to the teleprompter computer. The girls secretly hacked in and changed $100 to $1,000 increasing their allowance tenfold.

Well Obama was beside himself. After all these years, the girls came across as smart sweet little girls and yet they had lied and cheated to steal his money! Obama texted for Michelle to come immediately. She was also shocked.

Well moments later the Obama’s met with Sasha and Malia to discuss the matter. Here’s a short transcript from Obama’s impromptu speech;

“Sasha and uh, uh, uh (Michelle – ‘Malia’), yeah Malia. Today… you did something, uh, uh, I am, very [pause] surprised about. You… not only broke the law, but you [pause] lied… cheated… and [pause] stole from us. I [pause] am SO PROUD OF YOU!”

Obama celebrates new allowance with girls

Just another night with at the Obama’s.

Speaking to the Congressional Hispanic Caucus Institute’s 33rd Annual Award Gala in Washington, D.C. on September 15, 2010, Obama rewrites the Declaration of Independence. Toward the end of his 24 minute speech Obama quotes the Declaration of Independence saying:

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, endowed with certain inalienable rights: life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.”

What’s wrong? Well he conveniently left our “Creator” from the passage. The correct version of the Declaration of Independence is:

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

Now this is something all kids learn in their American History classes, that is provided they attended school in the United States. I’ve posted the video below. His remarks come at the 22:22 mark of the speech.

I’ve been searching the Internet for a great inexpensive writing app. I came across the iPad Note-pad and found this review. Great product for only $9.95!

Check out the video below.

“I can hear you! I hear you, the rest of the world hears you, and the people who knocked down these buildings will hear all of us soon!” George Bush at WTC site on September 14, 2001

This is how a true leader “unites” the country.

48 rounds of golf in just 18 months calls for a celebration. Wouldn’t we all sit down and have our ‘help’ serve us lobster.

Obama sits down for a nice lobster dinner

Mike Wallace asks Morgan Freeman about Black History Month. The only thing I can say is Mike Wallace gets Shawshanked. “I’m Jewish”…great response Mike.